We can be best buds or worst enemies. The choice is pretty damn obvious - I got the best shizz around, and you like shiny stuff. I'm here to get all the best deals and send them straight at your face, no sugar coating, no fancy dressing, if you miss a deal - it's gone. There's no crying in dealball.
Are the only people I trust to walk about my secret-deal-lair. This is a project that we have been working long and hard on (you better not crack that joke), that's all about the gamer crowd and everything techy and geeky. They also helped me gather some enthusiastic followers, which I locked in a dungeon office for further development. Those are the guys who will be severely punished when anything goes wrong with this website or any deal on it.
F@^∓ off, this isn't Match.com.
Hold on, I got a call.
*What now?! This is scaring people and I should try to be nicer?*
Sheesh, humans and their feelings...
Right, I know how fun it is getting the best hardware and newest games out there. That's why I want to share the deals that I muscle politely acquire with the world. You can finally stop blaming your "vintage" 1980's trackball mouse for your shitty playstyle.
I'm here to lead the gamer race to a golden era. You can either join, or be smashed by my ogre bodyguard. Sign-up now for the best deals out there. Seriously. If you find something better, I'll deal with them personally.